You can't make this stuff up!

For a while I had a blog with our local newspaper, at times I called the blog  "You can't make this stuff up". It was fun and consisted of the truly idiotic in the news.

Today I'm reading the newspaper and find it full of  the idiotic and weird. So here are some of today's "You can't make this stuff up" stories.

A pedestrian is critically hurt by a  drunk driver. The driver is arrested for drunk driving. What's so weird about this (you may ask)? The vehicle was actually a bicycle,  the driver of the bike was so drunk he couldn't avoid a pedestrian and the pedestrian apparently couldn't avoid the bicycle. The sad part is that the pedestrian was actually badly hurt.

A 16 year old boy wearing a Batman shirt and mask was arrested for breaking into a building at the Colorado State Fair. He turned himself in to police when he saw his "likeness"  on local TV. My idea of a headline would be "Robin ends up in Slammer"! You're wearing a "mask" you see a picture of the Masked Avenger on TV and you turn yourself in?? Holy Cow Droppings Batman, POW, BIFF, BAM, CRASH!

Our local University, "UNLV considers offering minor in drones" (that was the actual headline). How in the world would they actually get the "minor" in the drone?? And who would want the minor after he was stuffed into a drone??

A Swedish Company is now "hawking" spitless tobacco?

Heck, we've been "hawking" a brainless VP for years now!

Designers tailor clothes for "Indian Belly"? Indian Belly? How about "mufflers" for Biden mouth?

And last but not least, "Soccer fans behead a Referee"!  This actually happened in Sao Paulo, Brazil. The Ref. called a foul, the player got angry and punched the Ref., the Ref. got angry and stabbed the player (killing him). The players fans and family stormed the field and stoned the Ref. to death and then quartered his body and decapitated him. And we thought the Raiders football fans were a bit violent at times.

As Bill O'Reilly says "We are always looking out for you"!

Political Lunacy

Nevada, recently approved giving Driving Privilege Licenses to ILLEGAL ALIENS!
Our REPUBLICAN Governor, who had the power to veto this idiocy, actually approved it.
So if you are ILLEGALLY IN THE USA you can now drive legally. Huh???

(Thus my Burro Chip award to the Governor of Nevada!)



Every year there are many more deaths by ILLEGAL ALIENS causing auto accidents (and many aren't truly accidental) then deaths caused by guns (legal or illegal, accidental or intentional)!

Using this logic, why not allow ILLEGALS to buy AK47's?? (Like Eric Holder has already done which not only killed hundreds (thousands??) of Mexicans but also an American Border Agent).

Along with their driver privileges, why not allow illegals and criminals to purchase AK47's,  Eric Holder did!!

 



Both vehicles and guns are, or can be used as "Weapons of Mass Destruction" (it's happening in Muslim countries on a daily basis)! Our Government Immigration Dept. has statistics on ILLEGALS and the accidents and deaths they cause. Those numbers are huge (but you'll never see them), driver licenses WILL NOT reduce this cause of accidents and deaths. It simply gives these ILLEGALS the hope that they will be given amnesty which will draw many more illegals to our country. When we confiscate all lethal guns lets also confiscate all lethal cars and trucks.



One (supposed) reason for this idiocy is that ILLEGALS may now decide to buy auto insurance. This reasoning is idiotic, they are ILLEGAL, they are working at very low wages, they are supporting other illegals (family members etc.) THEY DON'T HAVE THE EXCESS FUNDS TO BUY AUTO INSURANCE!!! If caught without auto insurance, they have nothing to lose, there are no penalties! They are here ILLEGALLY, and our Immigration Authorities are doing NOTHING about this. Obama released thousands of illegals from detention and eventual deportation, WHY? At most they )illegals) will be sent back to their own country only to sneak back into America two days later.

The main reason for this idiocy is, if amnesty does get approved, these politico's simply want the votes. They (the politico's) are willing to sell America down the river just to retain all the perks of political office. They don't give "two flips" about you or I, nor do they actually care about the ILLEGALS! They only care about votes which allow them the vast perks of political office.

We desperately need to take a stand, we desperately need to vote them ALL out of office (even the Republicans who have no idea what "Conservative" really means any longer) !!!!



 

Our Governor (Sandoval) who allowed this atrocity

and

our Republican Senator (Reid) who voted FOR the "amnesty bill"

have lost my vote now and in the future (never again)!

 

And another Burro Chip award to our very own Harry Reid!

 

We desperately need TERM LIMITS for ALL political offices!

If you agree with me, PRINT this Blog and send a copy to your Senator or Congressman.
We need to take a stand, we need to take our country BACK from those who don't believe in nor follow our Constitution!

I'm Confused

I'm confused!!!

 

I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies.

 

Internal Revenue Service

U.S. Postal Service

Telephone Service

Cable TV Service

Civil Service

State, City Public Service

Customer Service

 

And I thought

this isn't what the definition of SERVICE was.

 

Until

 

I overheard a couple farmers talking,

and one of them said he had just hired a

"Bull" to "Service" a few cows.

 

BAM! It all came into focus.

Now I understand what all those agencies are doing!!

 

 

 

 

Children of the World, Mosquito!!!

 

 

In our touring of the villages of Chiapas, near San Cristobal, the Capital of the Chiapas region, we came across a village that had a Bull Fighting Ring.

 

  OK, this series of photo's probably doesn't have children in it

(except for this young lad holding the sign up)

 however Mosquito was probably no more then 3 or 4 years old

so I included him in this series.

 

Olay! (isn't that a butter substitute??)

 

This is "Mosquito" (nuff said)!

 

 

These are the tourista's watching Mosquito!
(bunch of young adventure types and one old gray haired gringo)

 

 

 

This is the Matador (the bull fighter)!

 

 

 

And this is Mosquito the victorious!

 

 

 

Mosquito got a rousing "Thumbs Up" from the crowd, a sign of  approval and respect for the Bull

 and the required sign that allowed Mosquito to fight again another day
 (rather than become hamburger for the poor).

 

Most Bulls are killed by the Matador, butchered and given to the poor families of the villages.

In this case the Matador survived but probably spoke in much higher tones for a while!

 

Olay (must mean "ouch")!

Children of the World

The trip continues.

 

From Guatemala we drove into Southern Mexico. They were having a bit of a guerrilla uprising at the time. The Zapatista Army of National Liberation, a revolutionary leftist group (Marxist type) was causing havoc. The group was (and still is) based in Chiapas, the southern most state of Mexico.

So where do we decide to go (you may ask) to Chiapas of course! On the way we were stopped several times by the Mexican military looking for any Zapatista's who may have hijacked our bus. Interesting experience having soldiers in ski masks (with very lethal looking guns) force you off a local bus and demand identification (passports, etc.) while they searched the bus and all your personal possessions looking for anything that may incriminate you as a Zapatista supporter, (we either passed muster thank heaven or my dirty boxers really turned them off. Plus, I hadn't purchased my Zapatista Guerrilla doll at this point in time.

This first picture is of the road (trail actually) to a small village in the center of the Chiapas district. The big white building is the church, a combination Catholic and Mayan (Voodoo-ish is my best description) a religious house of worship where parishioners may be sitting on the floor (no chairs inside the church) praying, eating lunch, drinking or just feeding the chickens or goats which were also in the church (true story, I attended a service) while the Padre prays and holds the service.

The Church is the center piece of the Villages in rural Central American countries. There's usually a large square where they set up a market place, congregate, eat, visit and gossip (or tell tall tales).
The people of the area are primarily of Mayan decent.

The Zapatista's aren't a particularly violent group against tourists so we were comparably safe. They are primarily against the government and the military. They are mostly farmers and the very poor, workers who want nothing more then some equality and government assistance, which they never actually get, thus their uprising. This has been going on since about 1994. (Actually it probably hasn't changed since the Spanish Conquistadors conquered this part of the world).

Back to "The Children", this little girl (above photo) and her small sister found this tourista (me) fascinating, as I walked around the square taking photos they followed (at a safe distance)  until I stopped and asked them (sign language of course, I speak very little Mayan) if I could take their picture. They readily agreed and posed for me but I couldn't get them to smile. After the picture taking I gave them a hand full of Peso's which I'm sure made their day and provided their family with a meal that evening.

This lady (pictured above) was also in the village square. She was selling hand crafted dolls of the Zapatista guerrillas. The two she is holding here, I bought from her. Thru a few words and some sign language she told me the doll was modeled after Zapatista Guerrilla's and that they were all around us but not to worry, they wouldn't harm us. She was delightful and when asked, she was more then happy to pose for this snap shot. The doll cost me a few Peso's (probably less then a dollar) but I also gave her a few more which thrilled her to no end. The locals, though supportive of the Guerrilla movement, were very friendly and courteous to us, we never felt threatened nor leery of anyone in the villages of Chiapas.

Dim o gwbl-ing (the sign say's "You Better Not")

This is the art of  "Dim o gwbl". 

 

It's self explanatory, Don't "Dim o gwbl" at any time!
(Nuff Said)

 

I have No Idea what you have to do in order to "Dim o gwbl"

so I'll post some possibilities!
 

 

 

Is this gent "Dim o gwbl-ing" ???

 

 

 

 

Could Einstein have been "Dim o gwbl-ing" when he supposedly said this??

 

 

 

 

 

Could it be something much more sinister??

(One more "Dim o gwbl" and I fill you full of lead! Go ahead punk, make my day!!)

Is this Dude "Dim o gwbl-ing??
Or is his wife (behind him carrying up the rear?) "Dim o gwbl-ing"?
(bet his wife would like to "Dim o gwbl" him, right in the old "kisser")
 

 

 

 

 

Could it be political??

Are Obama and his seven bazillion Czar's "Dim o gwbl-ing"??
I'm sure VP Joe Biden has "Dim o gwbl-ed" many times!

 

My guess would be that this is "Dim o gwbl-ing" and if it isn't it sure should be!

Anyone for a "Moon Pie"? They go "Hand in Hand" while Dim o gwbl-ing!!!

 

Children of the World

No adventure is ever complete in Guatemala without seeing (and hiking to) 

 the many Mayan Ruins.

 

To continue with the "Children of the World" theme;

 

 

This little "Waif" was selling hand made dolls at the entrance to Tikal.

 

Parents of third world countries send their children out to markets

to sell handicrafts (or simply beg) in order for the family

to survive. This appeared to be one of those instances.

The pleading look on her face was enough to convince most tourista's

to buy several dolls from her (me included).
 

 

 

Tikal

 

Tikal, in Guatemala, is one of the largest Mayan Ruins,

 they range from Southern Mexico to Guatemala, Honduras

and many other countries in Central America.

Some (like Tikal) are very touristy, and some are very remote and

require long hikes thru dense jungles to reach them, (like Palenque).

We explored both types.

 

 

 

The view from the top of this Mayan temple.

 

 

"What goes up must come down"!

The climb to the top (and back down) very narrow slippery stone steps,

also very steep only those of stout heart need attempt this,

(or, as a grandson has labeled me,  those considered a bit "whacked" )

 

Children of the World

Kids in Boats (part four)

 

OK, last part of this (kids in boats) travel series.

This was nearing the end of our boating portion of the adventure.

We're still in Guatemala, on some river flowing thru a rain forest.

My camera was still dry, but some of my fellow tourista's kept saying

 "Bob, your all wet" (I have no idea what they meant)!

 

Here I divert from the Children and gravitate to a couple photo's I like of the birds of the rivers!

 

 

Spectacular 

This Egret's (I think it's an Egret, Stork?? Big White Bird!) white plumage really stood out
against the dark green foliage of the surrounding jungle.

 

 



 

 

 

Piranha's aren't the only thing you need be wary of,

some of these rivers are loaded with cascading water falls

just around the bend.

A leisurely float down a river could end up an adventure

you may not have been prepared for!

 

 

 

 

Night (dusk) was coming on quickly, I noticed this tree

was loaded with birds, you can see their silhouettes on the branches.

(if you click on the pictures you'll get a larger view of the birds in this tree)

 

 

 

And last but not least,

 

 

"In every life some rain must fall"!

 

The temperature dropped to the 40's, the rain, a real monsoon, came down in buckets,

we were soaked to the skin, darkness was quickly setting upon us,

rivers do get treacherous in a good storm, we were miles from our starting point.

 

(So who wants to join my next adventure?? Can anyone say Royal Caribbean Cruise Line?)

 

Children of the World

Kids in Boats (part three)

 

Boats in third world countries come in all sizes and shapes!

 

 

And at times even the Touristas get in the act!

(No, this boat didn't overturn, someone ate too many re-fried beans)
 

 

 

It was just a time for the Tourista's to become kids once again!
 

(Of course they may not have noticed that Piranha's frequent shallow slow running water)!

(The guy in the middle should be careful, he has to look like a Big Mac to a hungry Piranha)!

 

 

Children of the World

Kids in Boats (part two)

 

 

A family outing on a Guatemalan River!

 

 

OK, I give up, what is she (girl in front) paddling with?

 

 

A family size boat (much more my style).

 

 

Even some Touristas have to get in the act.

 

There are many young female adventure travelers in America,

(all our women folk aren't wimps, many are awesome).

 

Did I try this dugout (you may ask)?
 I would have but didn't want to get my camera wet,

 (that's my story and I'm going to stick with it)!

Children of the World

Kids in Boats (part one)

 

 

 

 

It's always fascinating to see the children of third world countries in a boat

(canoe, dugout, hollow log, whatever floats)

Life Jacket?? What's a Life Jacket??

This little boy was probably born on the water and can out swim any of us!

 

 

 

 

These boys were spending a leisurely day on the river.

Life Jackets?? Sun Visors?? Sun Burn Creme? You gotta be kidding!

When they got hot they simply jumped in and splashed around for a bit.
 

"Piranha's"?? "Who's afraid of a little Piranha"?

"Dad will probably catch a few today for some great Piranha soup"! 

Just a normal day fishing for Dad and Son.
How in the world do they keep their balance on that hollowed out log??

Boats of every kind imaginable are used for transportation.
Roads? What Roads??
The river is the main and (in many cases) the only means of travel in third world countries,

(yes, even for tourists but that comes at the end of this story).

 



Children of the World

OK. just so you don't think I only take pictures of children (actually I take pictures of everything imaginable including creepy crawly things), here are a couple pictures of the local Guatemalan ladies.
 

 

 

This lady (above, red blouse) was cooking Tamales

(I believe she was washing dishes in a garbage can at this point).

 I also don't believe she wanted her picture taken at that particular moment.

But she did give me a little smile when I winked at her and thanked her!

 

 

 

These two pictures (above) are great examples of the character of this lady   

in her bright flowery blouse and the many wrinkles in her face.

She had no problem having her picture taken

 but wasn't about to smile.

 

These pictures were taken as I strolled the many back streets of Chichicastenango.

(I love that name).



Children of the World

Guatemala City, Guatemala, town square on the courtyard of the Federal Building. A place to congregate, sell handicrafts, gossip and simply socialize. A place where locals and touristas rub elbows and  exchange pleasantries as well as stares. A cacophony of bright colors, musical sounds and aroma's to pleasure a persons many senses.

At this particular time and place, with not a care in the world, these young ladies were probably discussing the same things young girls all over the world discuss. Boys, clothes, parents, school and (of course) boys!

If you're going to travel, you may see monuments, statues, modern cities and antiquities but you will never see something as beautiful and inspiring as The Children of the World!