Religious Ponderings and other Pontifications!

 
Why is "GOD" always a "man"?

"God" created "Man" in HIS image!
"God" created Adam (the first "man") from what?? Thin air??
(OK,  HE'S  "GOD", so HE can do anything!)
If HE created the universe out of thin air why not Adam also out of thin air (or Lego's)?  
But then, why did HE need a RIB (Adams) to create woman? (Could all this be why men are so full of "hot air" and get "ribbed" so unmercifully over their beer belly's?)

Then HE took one of Adams ribs and created woman (Eve)! But if this were true, HE would have had a clone of Adam using Adam's DNA (which said rib would consist of), and not a somewhat different species (woman). OK, once again,  HE'S "God", HE can do whatever HE wants with whatever HE wants to use to do it with!

Why did HE create Adam in HIS image (body parts and all I assume) and not realize Adam would have no use for some of his body parts,  being alone and all?
Adam got lonely so "God" gave him a companion (Eve). Who's image was Eve created in??
If Adam was in "God's" image wouldn't "God" have wanted to use some of HIS parts for procreation? Thus could there have been a "Mrs. God"? Who's image Eve was created in!!

Am I being blasphemous yet?? Let me ad a little disclaimer. I'm definitely NOT an atheist. I believe there is a "supreme being". The universe is simply much to humongous and too vast and complex to believe it happened with a "Big Bang". (Who lit the match??) If the Universe was created out of something the size of a pin head (as scientist's seem to believe) who created that something that was used, which was the size of said pin head? Scientists believe the universe is expanding, into what?? If space is finite it couldn't expand and if it was infinite it wouldn't need to expand. So there must be something "supreme", a vast intelligence beyond our imaginations, to be behind all this (wouldn't you think? I do !!)! Maybe I'm an Agnostic? But I don't think so, I was raised a Catholic and still consider myself a Catholic thus I'm a Christian (at least I think so). But being a Christian doesn't preclude me from thinking, pondering and pontificating (does it??). When someone stops pondering & pontificating it clogs up the mental systems like a bad case of constipation of the brain. (OK, lets keep jokes about Joe Biden to ourselves)!

If Adam and Eve had two sons (Cain and Able) how did two boys populate the world?
(There were no women at that time since Adam was "first man" and Eve "first woman")!
If by some chance Adam and Eve also had daughters (there is no mention of this in the Bible though), would that not have been considered "incest"! Cain and Able would only have had their sisters to help populate the world with, (having children with their  brothers is something I believe all women would find repulsive and repugnant)?
And why only two sons? Now you have three men vs one woman and no way to continue the species. (or was it that lousy snake that helped create the rest of us, after all a lot of guys have been called "snakes in the grass",  of course I've never been called this).

Why were the first humans mentioned in the Bible only men and why (or how) did they get to live for hundreds of years? Why are men given such prominent place in the Bible and women a much more inferior place? Why was man created big and strong and women small and weak (or at least appearing a bit weaker then their other half).  Why were some men in the Bible allowed to have several wives? And women not have several husbands?  (They were probably lots smarter and said "If he wants two wives, fine with me, just get him out of the house and out from under my feet and let her deal with him")? Did God allow this since it was the same men who seem to have been the authors of much of the early Bible who had several wives and lived hundreds of years. Besides, didn't the men who wrote the Bible passages say their inspiration came from "God"?

Wouldn't Jonah have given the Whale "indigestion"?  Or at least a bad case of "gas"!
If Noah took two of each animal species on his Ark, did he simply reject the rest of each animal herd to it's faith (drowning)? If "God" was angry with man, why did HE allow all the left over animals to perish? (Wouldn't the two Lions have devoured the two Wildebeests? Leaving two big piles of Dung and is this where Dung Beetles came from?)
But I'm getting off track now. Anyway, these may just be metaphors (or metatwos, since I only list two above) for some other deep and meaningful meaning. (that's probably an oxymoron, "Men" and "Deep Meaningful Thoughts", after all, we know what's on most men's minds and it ain't Deep nor Meaningful!)

Why have all top religions always been started by a man? Abraham (who got his walking orders from "God the Father") appears to be the father of Judaism, followed by Jacob and John and King David! Then there is Buddha (a man who, by the way, abandoned his wife and kids to find enlightenment) and Christianity's "Jesus" (a man and son of "God" who is also supposedly a man "God the Father, God the son") and Islam's Muhammad (a man who, by the way, married his 10 year old cousin, one of his four wives, I believe). (oops, I may have just opened the door to igniting more Embassies into inferno's, for which I most humbly apologize, I'm just repeating what's in the teachings of Islam's holy books). 

Then there is Joseph (Smith that is) a man who started a religion that our next apparent President belongs to, and all the leaders of that religion are men (no woman need apply)!
For that matter, why have we never had a woman President? Hillary? Sarah? Martha Washington?  Close but no cigar! (I'm all for Mia Love, a Black Woman, Mormon, Mayor & Conservative, what else could you ask for, or how about Tim Tebow or Aaron Rogers)?

"Jesus" had 12 apostles, all men! Peter was one of those Apostles and (supposedly) created Catholicism who's church has always had a man as Pope. (OK, there is some talk of a woman assuming the Pope position short term but that's just speculation that most Catholics have swept under the Vatican rugs or under a Cardinals skirts).

Could it be that man (the big lug that he has always been with his infamous imagination and egotistical nature) could have created this image of "God" and Man being on the same level playing field (macho mania)? Will lightening strike me dead any minute now??

Enough of these blasphemous questions, now I need answers (or feed back or thoughts or pontifications or the back of my hands slapped with a ruler by Sister Agnes??)